We all have a past – both from our upbringing and from previous relationships. This means that when you are in a relationship, your entire past is also “in” the relationship and this can easily create some challenges because we “frame” each other’s (old) feelings.
Perhaps you feel that you are stuck in a negative spiral of bad communication and arguments?
Maybe you miss love, closeness and intimacy in your relationship because your conflicts (or just everyday life) create more and more distance between you?
Perhaps crises have arisen in your relationship (such as infidelity or other forms of failure) from which you find it difficult to move on?
Perhaps you are experiencing challenges in making a united family work?
Regardless of whether it is major crises/conflicts or whether it is small “everyday discussions” that drain your relationship, I help you to break the patterns of action that create distance and pain. I give you concrete tools to create loving communication and understanding between you, so that there can once again be room for love, closeness and security.
When should you go to couples therapy?
Couples therapy, parterapi, can help you out of a crisis that has already arisen, but couples therapy can also be preventive, so you can solve your challenges before they turn into a crisis.
Some couples who come to couples therapy have no doubts that they want to be together – they just want help to solve the challenges in the relationship.
Here I help you, among other things. with greater understanding of the challenges and tools to solve them together.
Other couples at parterapeut Frederiksberg may be stuck and need help figuring out whether they should be together or go their separate ways.
Here I help you to create more clarity so that you can better make the (for you) right choice as well as tools to be able to separate with greater peace and understanding of each other.
Especially for couples with children, it is completely decisive for whether the future cooperation works well.
As I usually say: “The fairy moves with you”. So what you cannot solve now will most likely show up to a greater or lesser extent in a possible new relationship. Therefore, our partner can be perfect for showing us what emotions and past experiences we need to process.
How does a couples therapy course take place?
Couples therapy with me consists of sessions where you are basically here together. However, some couples can also greatly benefit from individual sessions separately, alongside the sessions together.
When you come to the first session, we first of all clarify together what you would like help to solve and what you want to get out of the process.
I help you to make it clear what it is that creates distance/conflicts between you – and most importantly why.
It is only when we gain a deeper understanding of the problems that we manage to solve them.
Couple therapy is conversations that will create great value and give noticeable results, which can really be felt in your relationship because you get concrete tools to take home.
With me you will experience that you are both listened to and understood and you will experience that I can help you understand each other better. In this way, you get a loving constructive communication instead of the repeated conflicts.
The understanding of each other as well as good and loving communication is exactly what results in a healthy and loving relationship, where there is love, respect, intimacy and joy.
What do you talk about in couples therapy?
In couples therapy, we talk about what matters to you.
Couples therapy is not about finding out who is to blame for what. Couple therapy is about helping you to break the behavior patterns you have now, which create pain, distance and frustration. So you can get closer to each other and make room for love instead of conflicts.
What happens to many couples is that the things that often start the conflicts themselves are not the reason they escalate and repeat. The reason often lies much deeper and therefore it is almost impossible to try to solve it yourself.
Perhaps you have experienced that a “harmless” discussion can quickly escalate into a big argument?
And perhaps you find that the discussion quickly becomes about each other’s way of reacting, rather than what it was about to begin with?
It could also be that you (either in the current or in a previous relationship) have experienced infidelity or other forms of failure, which take up a lot of space and which you find it difficult to get through yourself?
When we are hit in our emotions, we often react with the whole past that we now have with us. Often we also react based on the age when we first experienced these feelings.
Therefore, it very often ends up with two children arguing – we act in affect because we are in the throes of our “emotions”. And from that place we cannot resolve an adult conflict.